The Pain is Just Too Much
Sometimes a satire can be just too painful to handle. Someone took things too far and your feelings may never recover. How can you even begin to cope when someone's joke has jabbed you in the feels so hard that you can't bear to close your eyes, because every time you do all you see is the painful joke? Maybe someone's mean satire has kicked you when you're down. Maybe you've been down for 25 years. Maybe you're looking for an easy, eternal exit from all the humiliation you've been forced to endure. We know you've had dark times - we've been there too. Sitting alone in a darkened room, staring off into the middle distance while listening to Gary Jules' Mad World on a quiet loop while continuously rehashing the cruel satire over and over in your mind.
Don't Do It!
At least not until you contact us for help. So put down the razor, bottle of pills, shotgun, pneumatic tubing formed into a noose, whatever - and pick up the phone! Don't do anything irreversible. Although we sympathize with your personal anguish, we must remind you that death is permanent. If you choose to end it all you can never go back, just as you can never go back to your successful glory days which are long gone. Much like satire, death is no laughing matter. Give our counselling experts a chance to nurse your shattered ego back to health.